Thursday, July 05, 2007
i, live in a disfunctional family.
where love does not exist.
where children are burdens to their parents.
where negative words shoot all around.
where everyone slams their doors and starts crying.even dad.
that was what happened ytd.
bro came back. but things just got worse.
dad started scolding him in front of us in the living room.
saying stuff like 'i'm living on borrowed time!'
saying stuff that made me thing i was the worst daughter on earth.
stuff that made me feel like our family is breaking apart.
stuff that made me cry my eyes out last night and this morning (2 times).
stuff tt made me feel like killing myself and giving up hope.
though he did not scold me, he sclded my brother and sister.
and when i think bout what he says, i feel for them.
i cry for them.
"i know how it's like living in a disfunctional family. i have alot of stories to tell cos i have many friends who like you, live in disfunctional families." - Mr foo.
i don't live in a disfucntional family!
i don't wanna admit that!
we were not like that before okay!
stop branding my family!
"take things one step at a time. now priorities is studies okay?"- Miss foo.
how do u want me to take it step at a time?
no one else in the family cares bout this family at all besides me!
it's up to me to get the family up and going again!
"well hannah, i really believe that you will be the one who will shine the light and turn the situation around. i will help you, God will help you." -BRoandy.
can't all of u see!it's not like i wanna let this afffect my studies!
but i can;t wait for it to be over then say know!it's my family and it's up to me! );
i know.i'm sorry okay.sorry for trying to take my own life.
sorry for thinking countless times about suicide.
sorry i didn't turn to God.
sorry i'm just a failure and a burden to you.
daddy i love you.mummy i love u.di i love u.mei i love you.grace i love you.
can't u all see?
can't we just put all this things aside and be happy?
she wants to go home,but nobody's home.
that's where she lies, broken inside.
now i can't find what i've left behind.
don't know where she belongs.
her feelings she hides,
her dreams she can't find, she's losing her mind;
she's all over the place.
de a'More ;
3:37 PM