Sunday, September 09, 2007
ytd was like a relieving crash course on how i need to let go of the certain bagages that i've been carrying on this journey with God so that he can use me fully and i can embrace and execute the vision God has placed in me.
we were singing an old song ytd lah, but somehow, amongst the stress (due to next weeks exam and jenn's stuff) the song spoke to me in an entirely new way.
"heal our hearts and make it clean;
open up my eyes to the things unseen.."
i wanted to feel the urgency and be desperate for the unsaved lives that i hold in my hands. i don't want anyone to just leave theworld without hearing Gods amazinly good msg of enternal life in him. i've tasted of his goodness and i certainly wanna share it too. (: and then i started to reflect on my life and all the things that have been thrown at me and all the crap i had to bear. yet i can say that hey, nothing is too big for MY almighty God. (: i felt guilty cos i srt of underestimated God. i was so caught up in my own problems that i've forgotten to look up there. i forgot that there is a God up there would gladly take all my burdens upon hs own shoulders and he'd solve them cos nothing is too big for the God of the universe. ;D and i am PROUD and GLAD that i serve such a great awesome living caring sweet just all so wonderful god.
and then during altar call leaders prayed over me. all of them bringing across one similar msg. "God loves you for who you are, not by your report card. don't drown yourself and lose yourself in ppl's expectation and standards of the world. " i guess its true, just wanna please everyone, be the best i can be for my friends and everyone else ard me that i've placed this thick THICk mask on my face and since then it;s been there. now i don't even know to get it off. SIGH. and also, since i was rested, felt like i wasn't good enough, cos 'i've done wrong', and i was like afraid of how ppl would view me, how God would judge me (but obviously he doesn't) and how the ministry and all the others would view me. i HAD to break out of it, and i will!
de a'More ;
4:30 PM