Sunday, November 11, 2007
foolish heart, looks like we're here again
same old game of plastic smile;
don't let anybody in
pretty self explanatory i guess. i always find myself going in circles, round and round. and once again, find myself playing the same old game of hide and seek with no one other than myself.
living a charade, always on parade
what a mess i've made of my existence
what a nice phrase isn't it? few words speak levels. i suddenly remember the reason why the picture of my blog is as such. cos i'm never seen without my mask, the happy, silly, cheerful to many, hannah. it isnt exactly what i want to be, or who i really am. but somehow over the long years, the mask has become part of me. and i only find myself lost and.. just lost. trying so hard to find myself again, but that mask just remains. i don't want ppl to see the ugly me, don't want to affect ppl with my moods and my emotional twists and turns. ): but it's so hard maintaining that front when hardly anyone knows how i'm feeling.
but you see, the real me
hiding in my skin
broken from within
unveil me,
completely
i'm loosening my grasp
there's no need to mask my fraility
cos you see, the real me.
but thank God, cos he's always been beside me even through the times i've struggled to be the real me. and He's been there to hold me even when i'm loosing grip.
wonderful, beautiful
is what you see, when you look at me;
you're turning the tattered fabric of my life
into a perfect tapestry.
wait for when the time is right, and allow God to make me into his art, flawless and beautiful. that's who i wanna be. as for the mask, let's just talk about it another time alright. oh well.
suddenly, he left. suddenly our promise of love has gone. suddenly, breathing seem so hard to do. carefully you planned it, but i got to know just a minute too late. now i understand it, all the times we shared joy together, you were thinking of something else. BUT i ain't gonna show no weakness. i'm gonna SMILE and tell the whole world i'm fine and keep my senses, but deep down when no one can hear me, i'll be crying for you. why do i love you, don't even want to. why do i lvoe you like i do, like i always do? u should have told me, why did u have to be untrue? can't go back can't erase, your smiling face.. i can't think of nothing else but you. sorry.
de a'More ;
8:34 PM
hannahlee