Friday, November 09, 2007
it's my first day at work! (: haha, i'm at office working for my dad who gav me stuff to do and now tt i've finished i'm slacking till like 6 until mom comes to pick me ): hard to earn money ah! the place is so quiet until it really freaks me out! even typing now feels so loud can :/ bored bored and more bored.
i wonder what jho's doing now. and i miss home ):
edited at 9.38pm;
i hate how i feel now. i guess now u're alot better off? and i dun really like the fact tt now i'm not the one who can make u smile, nor the one u wld sms when u needed someone. i don't think i needed to know about all the things both of u did together and how 'loving' u guys were. well fact is, i am jealous happy. and i dun really like it, cos i still wished i was still the one who stood beside u through the ups and the many downs like i used to. now it's different, u're smiling; but the person who makes u smile, is not me. i don't know whether to consider myself fortunate or not. cos at the very least i don't have to be put through the emotional stress u throw at me when u're nice one moment and nasty the other. at least i dun have to cry late into the night by myself to comfort myself with no one else hearing my cries. but now, it feels like part of me is gone. and when i wanna cry cos of things at home or with darling and stuff, i don't get to call you or talk to anyone; cos i knew u would be the only one who'd understand me. so now, i feel so alone, so terribly alone. suck, i hate emo-ing. but it doesn't mean i have a choice have i? not when i need to put on happy fronts till late into the night where i can think bout u with all my strength and all my might untl my heart feels like it's been overworked ): and it doesn' feel that good. SIGH, with a heavy heart i end off, cos i dun really wanna flood the post with all the emo shit. i just really hope it'll all be over soon. i swear i'll be crying at altar call tml. ): i'm just waiting, waiting till the day when u realise that u still need me. ): sigh. i miss don't miss you.
de a'More ;
3:18 PM
hannahlee