Wednesday, February 27, 2008
AHHH CHOOOOOO! x( Yes, hannah is down with THE FLU =/
Beauty Asia 2008 is finally over! No more 12 hours of work for me anymore! :D :D :D Today's work was just boring till death. I could literally nod off to sleep even with the public swarming around today. And those heels killed me again today, it was like ultimate tolerance! x( So, yes i'm finally free! Going to get a goooooood rest, and finally do some serious blogging.
It's only when i have nothing at hand that the wave of emotions come and now i feel so many things in my heart. I wrote them in the diary so i'll just elaborate or summarise here, see how i flow yeah?
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Today i played the jay chou songlist on my MP3 for the first time in don't know how long. I guess it was my way of escaping the reality of the issue back then. It couldn't help but reap up those memories from oh-so-long-ago. And honestly, i still think of jonathanHO from time to time. Maybe because of all the letters, cards, the 100s of songs that never fail to remind me about the fact that besides God, he'll be the only one that can actually give me true comfort - as a confidante. We were best of friends and nothing more, yet there was a special unique bond between us that i never expected to break so easily. I remember very clearly the time i had my first bad augue with dad 2 years ago, picked up my phone at 11pm, dialled his number and just cry w/o saying a single thing. Yet with no words at all, he made my heart calm - by playing countless jay chou ballads one by one on the piano until i was able to talk to him about it. All the way till 4am he accompanied me, although we both had school the next day. Sigh, if only i learnt about how you felt earlier than maybe it wouldn't just be memories today =/ Then again, you're not the JHO i know, barely at all.
"海鸟跟鱼相爱只是一场意外"
//Moving on to a separate issue, finally i'm seeing SOME light. Good light or bad light i don't know yet but at least there's a progression lah okay.
I always cared, extending my hands to you but you refused them. Don't push the blame all unto me for 'not caring'. I think i cared beyond the limit for what i should care for. You could affect me so much that i can spend THE ENTIRE NIGHT just thinking of what i can do for you to help you lighten your load or to help you in any way i can. Don'tbe unfair. You make up most of the stress i have and please don't make things worse for me.. From the beginning, i knew she didn't love you. Trust me, she doesnt really love you at all. Isnt it clear to you that she's just treating u as her substitute? She had another one before you and yet she could still share her heart. How unfaithful! If she really loved you, would she wait that long to say YES, would she make you cry and feel unloved a thousand times? Whatever i say, it wouldnt mean anything to you anyway.
'She left you like she did before, again - she made you cry.
It's hurting you, it's hurting me.
Your heart is torn; its not meant to be
You were all there by yourself, i wish i could be there..
Why do you love her?
Please let go..'
It hurts bad alright, it really does. Yet you're totally oblivious to it; to me. Dont continue like this. Even though i know it cannot be helped, i'm really really really REALLY affected by you. AH *SCREAMS* This is not working out =/ Please be okay, really please be okay. God, help us.
很可惜没有祝福,
但爱你并不孤独;
不会让你哭.
wo ke ai de xiao qing wa! ;D I want to meet you tml but we'll see how it goes okay! ;D Haha, this is stupid, i know you won't read this cos you're in army camp but oh well! Thanks for accompanying me throughout the 4 days of work even on the way home (: Although my smses are seriously going to fly up to heaven, still thank you ;D Better teng me more! You promised! xD
de a'More ;
8:14 PM
hannahlee