Morning! HAPPY 1st FEB! :D
Dad flew off to Middle East late last night x( And he said I HAVE to go work for the next 3 days, which is today, Monday and Tuesday. Wa, I wanted to go shopping today with Delia and Bel one okay. Then yesterday he told me he needs me to accompany Leonard to the Air Show site to do don’t know what stuff lah x( And it’s the time of the month again! Which means, I feel super weak and tired and grumpy x( I went without breakfast cos Dad was away, Mom had the car and she was so nasty to ask me go work on my own. I hate traveling alone, especially on an empty stomach! x( Lucky thing was, the MRT and buses were not crowded (ps I hate crowds)! There was still empty seats lah! I was like hmmm this is odd. But it must be God! Usually it’ll be so darn crowded at that time cos everyone is mad rushing to work; so thank God! (:

Guess what, since I’m so bored now and because it’s finally February; I’m gonna post up my birthday wishlist now! :D WOOOOOTS :D So here goes! :D

HANNAH’S BIRTHDAY WISHLIST 2008!
1. Have a special bunch of people celebrate together with me!
2. SURPRISES! :D :D :D
3. Repair broken relationships & Build up the strong ones even more (:
4. Have another special bunch of people celebrate together with me! xD
5. A happy happy birthday, like TRULY happy&blessed (:
6. CAMWHORING SESSION! PLEASE :D
7. Be a better person, an all rounder (:
8. Overflow of birthday cards! Those with long meaningful msgs! (:
9. MONEEEEY.
10. Meet Elvin Ng in person! Woooots :D
11. PEOPLE DATE ME FOR SHOPPING :D esp girlfriends (:
12. People go bring me to eat gooooood dessert, like er, FONDUE?! xD
13. CRUMPLER BAG.
14. A new bucket bag (whiteORblackORoff white)
15. More pretty dresses/clothes (:
16. New Anna Sui Wallet/Fragrance
17. Off-white/Black Cardigan
18. CAMERA!
19. More growth in God! :D :D :D :D :D
20. WORLD PEACE!
&LOVE.

Simple to fulfill? YOU BET! :D I’m very easily contented okay (: I’ve been pretty much deprived of memorable birthdays cos I’m always too busy organizing birthdays for other people that when it’s my turn to take a break and let someone else organize, they don’t know how to cos I’m always the one doing it x( At home, it’s just the same o same o thing, which is actually quite depressing; makes me feel like I’m just another normal person-just sing happy birthday song and that’s it, my ‘happy’ birthday ;( I hope this year will be different! Haha, not asking for much- just maybe a small celebration somewhere somehow? (: Like how I spent my only memorable birthday with 4 special people at the rooftop of the carpark last last year! (: Taking silly HILARIOUS videos, chopping and sawing the cake into UGLY DISGUSTING chunks, standing on the highest of highest 30cm by 30cm platform each and shiver like crazy cos it was so freaking scary, and sharing love together (: Well since then, one has moved on to be my nemesis, the other gone separate ways though we’re still goodfriends, then there’s 2 – Liying and Baby (: Now and forever yeah? (: Sorry, it’s really become a habit to call him baby. 1 because I really hate his name, and it’s been more than 2 years that I’ve called him that. If now you ask me to call his real name, I would seriously have a hard time ;D

I really miss my girls x( Some are schooling and some are working, some just decided to MIA for awhile x( JANET&Co., PICTURES TMR! :D KEN&Co,. TIE & COLLARED SHIRTS :D and pictures too! (: Please go try out your poses in the mirror first okay, act cool please! ;D Whoa I think I’m running a fever ;( Bad headaches, slight flu and super tired x( WHY IS TODAY’S TIME PASSING SO SLOWLY?!

It's really funny how i can get so affected by you and how fast the thought of you just brings countless tears into my eyes even when i'm in the office just because of a stupid song i heard on the radio. Why is it so hard to get over you? Why can't i just throw your at the back of my head? Why do thoughts of you come so randomly into my mind? How do you have the ability to make me smile at the past and tear at the present? How do you have the ability to make my heart ache so badly?

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrongs that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
Ill be forever thankful baby
Youre the one who held me up
Never let me fall
Youre the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith cos you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
Im grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I dont know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
Youve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnt speak
You were my eyes when I couldnt see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnt reach
You gave me faith cos you believed
Im everything I am
Because you loved me

Im everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me everything i needed, and all i ever wanted. Maybe now when i've said my goodbye, it feels like i've lost everything; then maybe thats why it hurts so badly. I really miss you that badly, so badly that my tears feel like they're eternal. The worst part is, i always need to pretend that I'm okay in front of you, pretend that we're just goodfriends when i really miss all the hugs you shower on me everytime we met. I wanna tell you badly that i still love you and i miss you, but i cant. 26months of endless countless hugs filled with love just suddenly stopped. Tell everyone that I've gotten over you when I havent, take out the picture i had in my wallet for 2 years, and hide the tears with a smile and say 'oh, the curry very spicy haha'. I can't believe i convinced myself to give you up for good. For God, that is. I hope He's proud of me; cos only he truly understands how horribly hard it was to let go of you, esp when everything was about you&me. You saw the worst of me, you've experienced the worst of me, bear all the tantrums i throw, you know every single every single thing about me; so tell me why u have to lie to me and hurt me THIS bad. So now even if i live or die, you wld'nt care. All i want is the truth but why wouldn't u let me know, Oh, you hurt me bad, bad bad. That fresh wound is never gonna heal.

; if i suddenly die tonight, he'd probably be the cause of it - died cause of a heartache. 3.23pm.

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