{edit/ 9:13pm}
KSWB: It'll all be okay! Don't think too much bout anything, cos we'll be praying and warring in prayer for you! You can do it, cos i told you i believe in you (:
JCWY: You don’t be so nice to be for 3 days, try stealing my heart away, then all of a sudden just dump me somewhere without letting me know what’s going on. You’re a friend, a good friend! I got so worried for you that at night I can hardly fall asleep without receiving a text from you to tell me everything’s fine. I don’t get it, I really don’t. Where had you gone? That’s why I told you to come back quick; come back to tell me that you’ll still be my mr nice and that nothing has changed-that you’d still be there for me to make me smile everyday. Maybe you’re still stressed, upset and pressured over a lot of things, but we promised to stand by each other and share our difficulties instead of leaving me alone this whole period of time to make wild guesses and worry like crap for you. I don’t know if you will read this but if you come across this, I miss you. Let me know what’s going on okay dear friend? Cos I’m always going to be here. I promised. Don’t change anything okay, even if you are, let me know ahead.

Last night as I lay down to sleep, there was a sudden grip of fear within me; like a panic attack of sorts. My heartbeat wasn’t normal, and I started to panic a lot. Just started to worry and go nuts thinking bout the future and about my lost portfolio and all the trouble I’ll need to go through to replace it. I rebuked the thoughts and declared God’s words and promises into my life. It must have been the devil. But I’m taking authority and dominion! It was only then that the harsh and painful reality set in. If the DAE application doesn’t fall through, it’s the end of the road. And if I don’t get my portfolio back, how am I going to replace it? It’s going to be so much trouble and I really need God to grant me favour with people to help me out! x( And I still have tons of work waiting for me to finish up everything I need to do, grant me strength even through this whole period of time where I have to worry bout literally everything! x(
1.01PM – Dad just came into my office and told me by brother was caught for drinking in school. God, fine. If this is going to be how you’re testing me, fine. I accept it. I thought you’ve put me through enough for the whole of last year. And now you’re bringing it into the new year too? All that has happened so far is already a lot for me to handle. On top of that, now you’re adding this too?! GOD! Should I thank you or something for doing all this? Well THANK YOU! It’s getting FRIGGING hard to hold on already okay! And I want to hang in there so please, deliver me! So many people having so many problems = Hannah taking on all their problems and her own too. How tired am I you ask? VERY TIRED, DRAINED. Worry for myself, for my family, for my a lot of other friends that are experiencing hard times too. Isn’t that a lot to handle already? I really want to sit down, read the bible, have someone pray for me and cry everything out! God I really need peace! I’m desperate..

I really need all the support i can get. No one knows how truly hard it is. I feel like i'm going to suffer from an anxiety attack or some asthma attack. It's too much for me to handle on my own. Like any other normal human being, I need support, encourgement and friends to cheer me on. It's like the worst and toughest period of my life at this moment. Even as i'm typing this in the office, my heart still doesn't feel right, and the tears of stress and agony just keepfalling. I'm really stressed. It's so bad that i havent had breakfast or lunch, and i don't feel hungry. It's so bad that i cannot seem to concentrate on anything at all and my head hurts from all the thinking and stress i've put through. Grant me your support, please? I don't know how to calm myself down & it doesn't seem to work. I need it now, more than ever before.. I cannot collapse, and i don't want to. But i have a feeling that anytime soon, my steady feet and heart will give way. It's really hard and no one would understand how it feels lke to be in my position. Don't go too far away Lord, i need You to come to my rescue. Where else can i go? Hear my cry Lord, hear my cry..

Labels: falling apart;

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11:32 AM