HELLO :D
Church was yesterday, went early as usual but this time sister and gang were not ard luh. Still good though! Had the chance to do a little camwhoring with Gabriel Fang and dearest Janet (: Misse fuel to go for Jackyln's 21st birthday celebration at Ah yi's house. Managed to take a few good photos along with camwhoring with the adults :/ Let the pictures do the talking alright?



Haha, thank you Chinrong for the shades you gave me! :D It came into good use :D And the adults all commented it was really nice, like Angelina Jolie's shades. Hahaha :D Thank you so much best! :D Appreciated :D

Sermon was really good yesterday, though the SPs already had an insight to what PGC was going to preach. During praise, while i was jumping at the altars i felt so overwhelmed by God's love and it felt like such a blessing to be able to dwell in God's house and worship Him and give Him all the praise He rightfully deserves. During sermon when PGC was talking about not wasting God's death i felt angry! I turned back and look, but they were still the same - nothing was affecting them and it was just, the same. I hated it. Maybe that was why i kept myself at a distance from them, all because i hated the fact that they were dating God and so not serious. If that is how THEY want to live their lives, forget it i'm just going to leave it to God and keep praying that one day they'll remember all that God has done for them and return to God. I'm going to keep having relentless belief in them i'm not going to give up but they are not going to influence me. Live my life once, live it right for God.

{edit 1.43PM}

As much as i miss you all, somehow deep inside it feels like we live in different worlds now. Nothing i say to you means anything at all already. I never wanted to let any of you go; never ever wanted to. But slowly it seems like the both of you were just happy living without me. It really made me feel like i was just not good enough to be part of you all. I know she has great influence, and slowly u're just drawing nearer and nearer to her. Sometimes when i find out thatboth of you went ut without letting me know or inviting me i feel, left out i guess. As the days go on, when i see both of you smiling to one another and sharing stuff that i do not know of, sometimes i sit at the side and feel happy for you girls i guess. Feel happy that maybe without me it doesnt make a difference. It started off as a trio, and i thought all of us mattered to one another. When we hang out now, it's different. It feels more like a duo with an extra tagging along. I was really glad to see you in church again yesterday. I turned back a couple of times to see how you girls were doing cos i knew my heart still cared and loved you all. Talking, gossips, letter passing, not responding to altar call though it was really relevant - just broke my heart. I'm not angry, i'm really upset and just very upset. I can't tell you how much your lives mean to me. I'm waiting desperately for the day when you come up to me and tell me ' Hannah, no turning back. I want to live my life for Jesus once again, without turning back. So help me. ' Howoverjoyed will i be! I would give anything just to disciple you girls and help you grow again. But seems like its beyond what i can do already. Besides praying, i guess only God can do so. Its beyond human for me to impact or influence anymore. All i ask is for your hearts to be open and let God change you inside and out. I know you think i've changed. Yes i admit i have - only because God told me so, only cos i want to live life without regrets. All this is momentary, but God's kingdom is eternal! I don't want to miss out on it and i dont allow u girls to miss it too. Please do yourselves a favour and save yourself please ; ( It really hurts me to feel this far away. It really does. I cry, i weep, i question my status as a leader, feel inadequate, feel like i havent done enough, blame God. But i know it has nothing to do with me or God. I did all i can, its up to you. I dont wanna let go, i'm still believing one day you'll walk up to the altars and rededicate your life to God.. I'm waiting i'm waiting. Let's not allow this to continue please? I never left you, you left me. I love you, i really do ;(

Lord i give you my heart ;

de a'More ;

11:35 AM