Tuesday, February 17, 2009
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I DONT EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND AT ALL. BUT GIVEN THIS STATE I'M IN, I REALLY DONT NEED YOU TO GIVE ME MORE PROBLEMS ON TOP OF THOSE YOU'VE ALREADY GIVEN ME. YAH GET USED TO IT THEN, THANKS ALOT UH, BUT I REALLY DIDN'T NEED THAT. BECAUSE IF YOU REALLY UNDERSTOOD FROM THE BEGINNING, YOU WLDNT BE qwetyiplkjhbgdsamznxcbvqwkhgdfouyethgfjr! DONT ACT ONE SACRIFICAL COS YOU'RE PUSHING ME TO THE VERGE OF BANISHING YOU OUTTA MY LIFE FOREVER, DONT, DONT DONT MAKE ME DO THAT because at the very least i still treasure you as much as before. SO PLEASE, and maybe it is time.
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Dear God,
As i sat there last night, i really hoped someone would just call, drop a text or such - tell me they noticed and let me talk & pour it out to them. I'm bitter, im broken. I want to run away by sleeping, but yet i dont dare to; because it's those late nights that never help; it's those nights where i find myself restless & helpless, tossing around like a fish outta water; because i was afraid to find myself crying myself to sleep.I was sitting in the living room, lights dimmed, music's playing, msn conversations popping - i cried where i was and called out for God. I prayed, 'God, take it all away. I'm tired. I don't know whats causing this emotional rollercoaster. I'm really afraid of failing you, i dont want to anymore. You know my hurts and my pains, everything i'm going through, every little thing in my mind. Lord save me, and help me. I can't do this on my own and it's only by Your strength that i can conquer. Help me get a hold, and rebuke the thoughts of inadequacies and negativity that are not from You. I'll lay it all down, at the foot of the cross'. On the other hand, i'm really in need of a HTHT (heart to heart talk), someone to care and hear me out, give me not only emotional support, but spiritual support as well; someone to take that spot. 
With love,
Hannah
de a'More ;
2:09 PM
hannahlee