Ah yes, it's the 3rd day of school today. & yes i finally have photos to upload! Today's wednesday which means day3 in RP! Which means, year 2 and 3 folks who dont have electives have a day off for their PP and work to catch up with. So it means that apart from STA students (STA's day off is on friday) and hardworking year2s who took electives today - no one else's in school! So i had to arranged to meet ahben today to go to sch together since BK wasn't coming. Walked to sch and then went for class.

Well yep new classmates not close enough to go eat lunch tgt, then i got a surprise phone call from geraldine to have lunch together with ahben too! :D I was really glad to see her after such a long time! I think if it wasnt for W15L, i would seriously have hated RP and all their nonsense. Love the girl, she's always been such a strong person always there for others & a hard worker too! And so i had a great lunch, its been some time since i sat at the canteen to eat instead of always da-paoing with the sem2 folks.





Well reason for photos because yep we're in the ARTS SCHOOL, today's was arts criticism - we had to go out take art pieces again. Not photography, but rather take photos of art we see around in school. So we brought along our camera's and went around snapping together during first break. & having two photographers around and 3 girls & one guy - who wldnt take photos! HAHA :D & i realised me and nic both love jump shots so we tried, but failed. HAHA! There was a sickening yellow small tiny butterfly chasing me around so i was kinda tired arleady.

HAHA, class was alright today i think our team did awesome awesome (: Hehheh, lessons ended at 4pm today so i was back by around 5 (: All in all it was a great day, just feeling a little tired from yesterday.

The preview went horrible. People screwd up the choreo i painstakingly taught and choreographed. They screwed up the singing too. I think, just because you can sing, doesnt mean you dont have to put in effort to remember your parts well. & just because we cant sing better than you 2 do, doesnt mean we dont have the right to critise you when you dont even know your parts. And to me, when it comes to stage and performing arts, im as strict as can be. Engage the audience, we cant sing, we cant dance - how the heck do we attract ppl? Thats why i bother doing choreo for you guys. & thanks to you stuck up girls, i ended up doing the right choreo - and have everyone look at me because you werent doing it rightly TOGETHER so it made it seem like i was the sore thumb. & not knowing ur parts like an extra 'candyman' made me look bad too. & its really not my fault because i do know my stuff. Worst of all, when i comment what kinda attitude do you recieve it in? Mag & raymond held a convo with me later that night and expressed their point of view too & this calls for some trashing out with the rest of the ppl, rather, the 2 of them. I enjoy singing and having fun, thats why i'm in Rhapsody - so please dont break that culture for us.

& i suddenly want to be loved, so bad - by someone i love & can love. God, where is he? This is getting so hard to keep up with;

{edit}sometimes i try, i try so hard to please everyone, to be there for everyone whenever i can. i get tired, but i do it anyways - because i love my friends, because i care for them. but then again, sometimes i realise i'm all alone. when they've gotten their share of advice and help, i'm forgotten & pretty much unloved. sometimes being a christian is so hard. But yet i want to live it because i know God is real & that he has more and better in store for me. As for now, i needa know who to love. There are times when people talk about getting attached and ask me why im not attached. I dont know how to answer sometimes. I know i've been in the ruts before, searching for love in all the wrong places and i've committed it to God that i will not go underground again, and i want my r/s to be pleasing to Him. But it's inevitable, for crushes to form - and i can't control it. When that happens, i have to break hearts i dont want to. I have to stop leeting myself fall into feelings to easy - break bonds i have with people just so i wont have to hurt them further. It hurts me as much as it hurts them, but no matter what i say, they wouldn't understand would they? then i find someone to love that i *can* love, that person doesnt love me - and i had to let go. & now? i just really need someone to hold me, see through my strong fronts, know that i am too, weak and needs my own protection, and love me for who i am. So Lord, is it time? Time i allowed someone to really love me?

de a'More ;

3:51 PM