{edit 11.52pm}

I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry i always have all these commitments. I dont blame any of you if you dont understand why i'm so involved. I dont expect anything from you - i never once asked for u to come fetch me here and there, i never once complained. I even tried to tell them i cldnt make it, just so i could spend more time with you both though it was really crucial that i attended the rehearsals. I knew the following weeks would be intensive & i wouldnt be home for the next 2 weeknights. I did all this for? Not because i wanted to skip practice, not cos you asked me to, not so i can get more free time, but so that i could make you proud, so that i wouldnt rob u of ur time that u want to spend with us. But did u have to say that? I'm really sorry if i havent lived up to expectations as a daughter. I really do all these for you. I know i come home, and the laptop is constantly in front of me and so on. When you come home, you sit at the tv too. Whats there to do at home together? I do try to spend as much of my weekends with u, i do try to have dinner everynight with you. People called me sheltered, young, kids, underexposed. Did i care? I just really wanted to make you happy. I never asked you to understand or support me, but did u have to misinterpret my intentions, chide me and tell me it's of no difference whether or not i'm home and that i dont have to please you? I WANTED TO. I REALLY WANTED TO please you. But if it isnt good enough for you, i'm sorry. I've done my best really.. I'm sorry i've let you down, i'm sorry brokedown in front of you and made u think i was weak and annoying, i'm sorry im not good enough; but all i wanted was to make u happy, make you proud.
Can someone please understand me? Where's everyone when you need them? and where are you when i need you the most? i really wished for you to be here now.


Time check, 9.05am and i'm already in class. Alright i was in class since 8.45am, early i know. I was reallt tempted to just skip school today or tomorrow but i cant afford to! ): I've gotta miss lessons for the actual days of the June event and i cant skip anymore classes. BOO TO THAT! So i dragged myself to school on this lonely wednesday again. Came to class, set up my laptop, blog surf and branden came in with this! MEIJI ALOE VERA YOGHURT :D He was so desperateeeeeee for me to turn up in school today that he said he'll buy me yoghurt! HAHA, bribe-d.


School is a bore today ); Okay maybe it's cos i've got no motivation, hols are next week and i cant stand being in school now at the same time busy with rehearsals and other stuff ): So can monday really faster come? I've got rehearsals later, gonna meet Nat for dinner then we go down together! & go back tgt too! :D yayness. Okay, i'm going back to Ghost Whisperer now. HAHA! :D Slack mode: on.

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9:05 AM