"That night he died of being too little.. I actually remember sitting in the hospital right after everything happened and knowing that I needed to sing, that I needed to still do what I know I'm supposed to be doing, and I felt like that was just a victory for us. Right now anyway it's just chasing to worship all the time, that's what it's like for me. Cos I don't always feel like it. Sometimes I don't feel like singing to God. But... I know that my circumstance, in this season, doesn't change. That God is still God. It doesn't change what God's called me to be here, what he's called me to do. And He's still on the throne in heaven and He still rules and He's still bigger than everything I'm facing.

I was singing, I believed everything I was singing and I still dont really know why but part of me was still so broken that... it wasn't like this huge rush of how it always felt when I worshipped, like the presence of God just flattened me. It wasn't like that. And I remember singing and not feeling like how I always felt before and just going "I know that you're here God" but I just... maybe it's just cos of my brokenness right now, the cut was so deep and so fresh that I didn't feel like I felt it before but I knew that I just needed to keep singing, and that it was going to be okay. And I just kept singing and then when we got to album night, it was the first night that I think I felt the presence of God back. Like I knew Him, and like I'd known Him before.

Even when you're singing things that you know are true, but you might not necessarily fully understand it - I think just being able to look at God and say things that are true of him, and declare the word of God and declare the promises of God, which is that - when I'm in the fire and I'm being refined, and when I'm in a battle and the triumph isnt here yet but it's coming; I think that you look at God and you say "I know that this is who You are" and He does get bigger in your life. And it takes over the things in you that feel so shattered. And it makes Him the focus. And He begins to put those things back together."

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I was so consumed and overwhelmed by God that i just literally cried where i was in class over the lunch break. So silly, but i'm proud to say I serve an awesome God - a God who is what i need Him to be in my situations, a God who never fails. Yahweh. Time to stop looking inward and be consumed by my problems but look to the Almighty who is greater than all my problems put together, and i know He will deliver and He will heal my wounds. Amen.

p.s thanks for telling me about this vid.