Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Hello December. In the wink of an eye, we're already welcoming christmas and getting all festive about it. It's been a month plus posting at tumblr, and you can only get addicted to tumblr-ing luh! Sorry i've neglected you blogger, it's no wonder my reader stats have gone way down :P
November just flew by like that. I've been really busy in school, but yet enjoying myself at the same time. Perhaps i've grown stronger, but perhaps i've grown numb. I really don't have a clue. There's been a series of events that happened over the month of november. It threw me off course and up till now i dont know where i'm headed. But as i was surfing around tumblr today, something about this verse struck a chord with me.
“Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
Guard your heart. Something that has been set to repeat mode ever since October. It's been 12weeks and 2 days. Okay maybe it was way way before back in 2008. For everything you do flows from it.
You kno, i'm going to be really honest. I feel far away from God. I don't know if it's a dry season, or whether i am not seeking Him enough, or perhaps being too distracted with the different circumstances in my life at this point of time. After running so long for Him, i end up running a race that i see no end. Fire's burnt out, tired but yet still living in the knowledge that God is sovereign, that it doesnt mean that God is absent when He's silent - I know He's still around, i know He still loves me, watches over me and plans my everydays. I want to rely on Him so much more than ever, to come into a deeper intimacy with the one i call My King. Looking back on my 2009 posts earlier in the year, i want to go back to who i was. Hannah, still going through a hard life, but knowing that God has it every step of the way. I want to keep fighting for God, to live my days with God playing the director of it all.
I think i need to sit at the altars, and for God to use some form of lightning to hit me.

de a'More ;
10:23 AM