I thank God for cell and service today. It was probably the most apt service and cell of the year and of this season in my life, just wished K was there to hear it with me. God did a good work today, so get ready.

Today was one of the days i went to church because i wanted to, because i needed to take a break, because i just wanted to seek His face. So with just that abit of excitement and expectation to get to see my fellow leaders again (don't know how impt they are to me), i brought a smile into the chapel. During prayer and that short time of just simple worship, God spoke to my heart and ministered to me. That presence was more tangible than any other hyped up service or power packed preaching. It was just between me and God. With nothing and no one else, just one guitar strumming away on the melody of The Heart Of Worship, God .. broke me, and then he filled me.

When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And i simply come
Longing just to bring something thats of worth
That will bless your heart

As i sang the lyrics to the song, God stripped everything away. All the tiredness, weariness, all the defences, the warped emotions, every form of anger and negative emotions. Then i realized that as we reached the chorus, that it was all about Him. And right there and then, all i wanted to do was to go back to the heart of worship. What Khing said was true, sometimes we just sing songs and we never think about what we really sing and claim what we sing as a prayer or maybe a victory. So as we entired into a posture of worship, Gavin started to strum the chords to a song so familiar - Still.

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storms
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still,
and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ Alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

Just as i was typing these lyrics out a few seconds ago, i heard so audibly God saying 'I am here, and i've always been.' (thank you God) Again, the song, with no special effects, no lights, no drums, no powerful worship singers, no nothing - spoke to me like never before. The song speaks of .. God. That He covers us within His mighty hand. He gives our soul rest. He's powerful in times that we trust Him with a simple faith. It also reminded me that in life, God never promised us a bed of roses. There will be oceans that will rise, thunders that will roar. But it is during the floods and the storms that God will show himself, and we can soar with Him, be still, and know that He is God. He is God. In every circumstance i'm facing, in every feeling i feel, in every disappointment, every failure - He is God and i will know that HE IS GOD and i will soar with Him OVER every one of these. Not by might, not by power, but by the spirit of the Lord.



Dreams.

We all have dreams don't we? Whether we are leaders or not, we all have dreams - dreams that God gave us, or personal dreams. And today's LD, for those of you that missed it, was about dreams and how we need to protect our dreams, and it gave me an insight on why we as leaders and more so, humans, become discouraged. Well, we get tired, we get frustrated when we hit obstacles, and we fail. But through the LD, it taught me that it's human - that it's okay. There are alot of other things i can share, but for now, just one. Failure.

Failure in our eyes, often isn't failure in God's eyes. We fail in our ways, but God has His ways. What God is looking for isn't perfection, but faithfulness. At the end of the day, God will be there to give us a pat on the back and say 'Hey son/daughter, thank you for trying!' He searchs much deeper within and looks into our hearts and not our results. And during times of failure, i know how it feels when you just want to hit yourself for disappointing everyone else around you, including yourself (unfortunately). But today i learnt that we need to understand that we can't please everyone with our dreams. And sometimes we just need to be concerned only about pleasing the audience of ONE.

Well with failure, disappointment follows short after. Disappointment often, takes your faith. It takes away our faith because we're afraid of trying, were afraid of failing, again. And we get scared of every battle because we rememer. But what do we forget?
We often forget yesterday's miracles and victories and fear today's challenge. Instead of remembering our failures, why don't we remember our victories and not be afraid to face challenges with God? I'm guilty of that because it seems as humans, it seems easier to remember pain and trials than happiness and triumphs.

Then LD summed it all up one shot, God's direction in our lives is much bigger and greater than the disappointments and discouragemnets in our lives. It paired nicely with what P.Da shared in service. He gave me a hug before service and told me to be careful and take care of myself because the enemy is on the prowl for easy prey. During sermon today, just ONE point caught me. From all that i've already learnt from LD, there was something about committing all our works to God that struck a chord in my heart. Commit. Remember some time ago i posted somewhere about how we struggle to fully submit and surrender to God. Like what P.Da shared today, alot of us commit week after week, and when things dont go our way we steal the control back from God. We only give God THIS PART and commit to Him THIS PART. Committing actually would take alot out of us Singaporeans, who always want to be control. And in this generation, we want so many things our way, instantly. But in order for us to succeed, committing to God is key. Our studies, our work, our jobs, our future, our relationships - all to God and let Him have it and handle it and protect it. God increase, we decrease.


1158 words later, I just want to say I love God so much, for never failing, always loving, always comforting and never ever giving up on me no matter how many times i've failed Him. I love you Jesus, deep down in my soul.

de a'More ;

10:21 PM